There's no more sleeping in. There's no more alone-time. No more unplanned adventures. And you know, I'm okay with that. I love my "job". I get up with my baby every morning. My favorite time of the day is seeing her smiles when we lock eyes for the first time. I love changing her and feeding her. Since I have to work another full-time job, I love being the one taking her to daycare and making sure she's content before I leave. And I can't wait to get off work to go pick her up. I love spending my nights with her even though she's exhausted from a full day of playing with her friends. There may be dishes in the sink or laundry in the hamper and I don't think Jon has had a hot meal in 5 months, but those minutes with her are far more important to me than anything else. I love rocking her to sleep. Seeing her little body relax in my arms and drift off into a sweet dream is one of the most precious parts of my "job".
Before Sawyer, I was blissfully unaware of the so-called "Mommy Wars" that are going on right now. The Time cover "Are You Mom Enough?" grabbed my attention and after reading blogs and articles all giving their feedback, my brain was on information overload. I've seen articles for and against Attachment Parenting, blasting the Maternity/Paternity leave policies in the United States, and saying the real fight is for the children without parents here in the U.S. While I have my views on all of that, it's irrelevant. I find it sad that we aren't acting as one large community of Moms, but instead we're pitted against each other over who's right and who's wrong.
According to Time Magazine, I am not "Mom Enough". I did not and could not nurse Sawyer until she was six, and I shudder at the thought of having a kindergartner with a full mouth of teeth there. She doesn't sleep in bed with us. We swaddle her and rock her to sleep. We vaccinate. We might not do everything right, but it works for us. At the end of the day, I don't care what Time Magazine or Jane Doe down the street has to say about my parenting skills. Every parenting journey is unique, and that's the beauty of it! As long as Sawyer is happy, that is all that matters to me. So whether you nurse or use formula, use Pampers or cloth diapers, co-sleep or crib-sleep from the beginning, vaccinate or don't vaccinate, circumcise or don't circumcise, all of it is irrelevant. No one has the ultimate say in how you parent except for you and your partner. Do what works best for you and your baby, and don't sweat the small stuff.
I've been all over the place \with this post so hopefully you can follow along. I think what spurred this all was a discussion Jon and I had over the weekend. He's a wonderful father to Sawyer and I can't imagine being on this journey with anyone else. He changes diapers and he will help me out as much as I need him to. And I know other moms out there aren't as lucky. I often hear others refer to fathers watching their own children as "babysitting" and nothing irritates me more. Most dads don't know how easy they have it. And while it's easy for us moms to feel sorry for ourselves and have silent pity-parties while the dads go out and live their lives the same way they did before baby, would we really trade places? I know I wouldn't. Our lives were affected from conception. We got to feel every kick and flutter and hiccup. There is no stronger bond than a mother and child. The ones I really feel sorry for are the dads. They're the ones missing out.
So to all the mommies out there, stay strong and work together. Dads, try to put yourselves in your wife/fiance/girlfriend's shoes even if its for an hour. And when it hits you that you'd be lost without her, thank her for all she does for you and your family. We're all working toward the same goal - happy and healthy children. There is no right way or wrong way, and there is no easy way. So read all the books, forums, and blogs you want, but in the end, the only method that matters is yours. Find what works for you and stick with it. I promise you, you are Mom enough!
